Tatlings Page #3

Herein The Fortunate Readers Will Find the Happy Conjunction of two very brilliant young people, whose literary and artistic talents fit like the proverbial glove, or the musical and lyrical of those immortals, Gilbert and Sullivan. Never were epigrams more worthily illustrated, or more worthy of illustration. The joie de vivre, the humour and the human observation which run through this little volume, will I am sure make a great appeal to the public possessing or admiring those qualities.

• Fiction

								


ALL WOMEN want real love, but their passion for bargains leads them to accept cheap imitations.

WHAT a woman’s eyes tell a man, and what his own eyes tell him is all he can ever hope to know about her.

A MAN sometimes wants to be alone to be alone, but if a woman wants to be alone it is to be alone with someone.

EVERYONE has his own particular way of making an ass of himself and if your method is peculiar enough you are snap-shotted for the halfpenny press—and that is fame.

IT IS the most difficult thing in the world to attract the attention of a crowd, it is always so absolutely intent on the man who is trying to escape its attention.

IF YOU can’t get rid of a man any other way—marry him.

IF YOU want people to take your hand put it in your pocket.

MEN all lie to women—in order to win them, in order to lose them, or sometimes only in order to comfort them.

ONE imagines that the reason some people are so keen on getting married is that you can’t get divorced till you are married.

EVERYONE goes everywhere now-a-days; it is very tiresome, because it makes it almost impossible to see life without being seen.

HUSBANDS and wives often become fast simply in their efforts to escape one another.

YOU can’t have a really good time and a really good reputation, but then a good reputation is of no value at all until it is lost.

THE man to marry is not the man you can be happy with but the man you can’t be happy without.

NOTHING in this world is compromising until it is found out.

THE only way to close some people’s mouths is to fill them.

IT IS extraordinary how marriage changes a man—towards the woman he has married.

A GREAT scandal is generally the public version of a great secret.

RICH FRIENDS are a great expense; one is so apt to live beyond their means.

IF A WOMAN expresses admiration for another woman, either she does not admire her or her husband does not.

A MAN will forgive a woman for not being there when he wanted her, but never for being there when he did not want her.

MANY A MAN known to the public as a ‘man of letters’ is known to his own people as a man of casual notes and infrequent telegrams.

ALMOST anyone can be noticeable, but only a very few are distinguished.

THE FRENCH describe a woman of over forty as of a ‘certain age,’ but as a matter of fact it is after she is forty that a woman’s age becomes most uncertain.

EVERYONE likes to be loved, if it is only to convince someone else that they are lovable.

WHEN a woman is past the love stage she is dead.

MOST PEOPLE are only caricatures of their own possibilities.

[Illustration: woman peeking over shoulder]

MEN do not try to escape temptations; their only fear is that some temptation should escape them.

[Illustration: back view of man wearing hat with coat draped over right arm]

THE WORLD is logical and ruthless in its conclusions; it says that if a man is not worth any money he is worthless, and that if a man is worth £100,000 he is worthy.

INFIDELITY is, very occasionally, the greatest compliment a man can pay a woman.

THE WOMAN who bares her shoulders usually has a larger following than the woman who bares her soul.

IT IS IMPOSSIBLE to study life and your husband as well.

A MAN who begins by asking a woman to sell her soul usually ends by asking her to sell her diamonds.

THE BENEFIT of credit is greater than the benefit of the doubt.

A GOOD REASON MAY be a bad excuse.

THE CLEVEREST woman is not the one that can make a man feel that he is a fool but the woman that can make a man feel that he is a man.

WOMEN may want to be slaves but they insist on choosing their own masters.

DISCRETION is the talent some women have of knowing with whom they can be indiscreet.

THE MOST perfect form of flattery is to tell people what they think of themselves.

IT IS NOT what you think of him, but what other people think of your husband decides whether you have made a good match or not.

IT IS NOT her sense but his senses that make a man love a woman.

LEADERS of men have been known to be followers of women.

IF YOU want to keep a man’s love, by all means dress for him, not before him.

THE LESS women care about clothes the more clothes they wear.

MEN ARE capable of the most marvellous self-sacrifice; a man will even give up the woman he loves because he cannot afford to keep both a wife and a motor.

BE SURE that you are outside when you lock the door of the house of memory and throw away the key.

THE LAWYER’S Progress—getting on, getting honour, getting honest.

IN A CRISIS a woman will turn to a priest or a palmist.

WHEN a man ceases to be single he ipso facto begins to lead a double life.

LIFE for a man is getting and forgetting, for a woman giving and forgiving.

A MUTUAL sense of superiority is a good basis for friendship between two women.

DECEPTIONS are the oil to the wheels of life.

IT IS WELL to be out of reach but you must also be within sight to hold a man’s attention.

WOMEN love men for their faults—when they can’t find anything else to love them for.

A MYSTERY does not become a scandal until it is solved.

MANY a man gets on his feet by continuing to lie.

SILK stockings are the last things a woman discards—when she is economising.

ONE of the most adorable rules of life is always to put off till to- morrow what you are obliged to do to-day.

GOOD habits are generally affectations or obesity cures and bad habits are often one’s sole plea to personality.

SOME people seem to think that a reputation for wit is to be gained by saying what they think; they forget that it is necessary first of all to think wittingly.

A LOVE affair that never ends is one that has been interrupted.

A WOMAN may have her price yet someone is always ready to give her away.

THE one that does not come out of a love affair well is the one that gets left in.

LOVE is a thirst that one cannot quench without becoming intoxicated.

IF YOU start making a man give up things you are almost sure to end by being one of the things he gives up.

IF YOU can’t talk about a person behind their back, when can you talk about them?

SOME women are capable of doing anything for the man they love, others make the man they love capable of doing anything.

IT IS NOT as a rule until a woman should really be in the past tense that she becomes intense at all.

IT IS hardly fair to say that women are inherently deceitful. No woman ever concealed anything that she dared reveal.

IT IS not enough for a woman to wear her clothes well, she must also wear well herself.

IF A WOMAN cares for a man she will never give him away; she will not even lend him to a friend.

IT IS not the woman the man she loves has kissed that should worry a jealous woman but the women he has not kissed—yet.

THE only criterion for choosing presents is one’s own taste; that is why old ladies give their nephews pin cushions, children give their parents toys, men give their wives cigars, and lovers give each other kisses.
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