Jokes of the day, part 1

• Humour

								
"At the tailor's"
- Your skin is made of velvet, madam! Why do you need a dress? -Are you suggesting that I undress? - Well, madam, I offer you love!..

"At the hotel administrator"
- Excuse me, can I play tennis? (sounded like "penis") 
- What are you saying, aren’t you ashamed?! (ukrainian) 
- Why? What do you mean?
- So this is not a brothel for you! We have a respected establishment here! (ukrainian)
- You didn’t understand me, I didn’t order a striptease!
- Then the guest’s shorts suddenly fall off. A minute of surprised silence. The manager's face turned red.
- So you need a striptease?! Go away, you pervert!..

"Scene by the Sea"
Characters: a cheerful crowd of young people, a lonely man of advanced years. Scene: stone staircase among the rocks leading to the magnificent sea... 
- Hey man, is it possible to jump into the sea here? (English) 
- Well, I don’t know... Probably (broken English) 
- Does he not know or does he not understand? So is it possible or not? - Well, try it, jump, and I’ll take a look. (in broken English) Everyone laughed together. 
- I liked this stupid one! - the girl in white grinned. This is where our paths diverged. Nobody jumped...
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