The Knave

• Drama
• Fiction
• Short story
• Action and Adventure

								
     “Chris, no,” Linda tossed a silver herring into the air, and a dolphin dived out of the water and snatched it.
     “Can we get a round of applause for Leah,” Michelle smiled into the microphone, and the audiences clapped and pointed in awe at the grey dolphin gobbling down its fish.
     “Listen, Linda, just—like—just 20 bucks,” Chris pounded the wet padding. He stood below the stage, where Linda kneeled down with a bucket of fish.
     “20 bucks? Really?”
     “Yeah.”
     “Eat this!” she chucked a sawfish at him, and it splattered all over his shirt.
     “Ugh—look, I’m all wet, now. And that smells like dead bodies!”
     “Why don’t ya go home and cry about it to your mommy.”
     “Now that’s mean. Linda, it’s just for food, alright? We’ll get whatever you want, I promise—”
     “Oh, wow. You’re overdoing yourself now, aren’t you.” she rolled her eyes.
     “Yeah?” he smiled.
     “No! It’s my money—of course I get to eat whatever I want. And I’m still not giving you any more of it.”
     “I—I’ll do your job for a whole year.”
     “Really,” she shook her head.
     “It’s easy!”
     “You’d mess it up.”
     “I would not—”
     “Just like you messed up your last 50.”
     “50? I don’t think there’s even 50 houses in this whole town.”
     “Well, there’s none for you.”
     “That’s why I need the money, can’t you see? Just 20–I’ll pay you back.”
     “Now, let’s see if Leah can do a backflip for us all this evening,” Michelle said, opening her arms up to the water.
     Linda waved to the audience and tossed a fish up into the air, smiling for the crowds. The second their attention shifted to other dolphins, she spun back to Chris.
     “You’ve never payed me back before.”
     “Well, I can’t become millionaire in one week.”
     “It was fifteen dollars.” she groaned.
     “All I need is 20 now. That’s, um, 35. I can pay it back easily.”
     “Really,” she smiled in disbelief. “Easily.”
     “Well—”
     “And what about all the times before that? Let’s see, there’s the time we saw your parents, and you pretended like my money was your money?”
     “That never—”
     “Oh, and the time at your brother’s wedding when you ordered whole a lobster?”
     “Well, I was hungry—”
     “And the time on your so-called holiday vacation at Mud Bums?” she laughed, “I mean, what kind of a restaurant was that? I won’t even begin.”
     “Now, watch Leah perform a new special trick she’s been working on—the quadruple dive!” Michelle announced. Linda hurled a herring high into the air and the dolphin flipped around four times and caught it.
     “Okay,” he said. “I’ll admit Mud Bums wasn’t the nicest place—”
     “Oh, I’m so glad you’re admitting that,” she made a fake pouty face, “And, I mean, wasn’t the nicest? What is that? The music permanently damaged my eardrums, the wings were over expensive, especially for the 10 that I ordered and definitely for the 50 that you—”
     “Alright, alright—”
     “So no. And can you stop coming to my work to ask for money? I’m telling you no,” she hissed. “And no means no. Okay? Bye bye now.”
     His eyes locked in on the wallet sitting in her khaki pocket. He climbed up the built in ladder on the side of the stage and reached over some water for it. The second she saw his hand, she swung the fish bucket at his cheek, and his entire body went head first into the pool. Crsssssshhhhhhh!
     The crowds gasped. Some children pointed and whispered to each other. Chris climbed out and waved at the audiences, “Sorry. Technical difficulty!”
     Linda turned to Tucker, the intern leaning against the wall, and shoved her fish bucket into his chest, “Fill in for me, will you? Just while I kick this drunk bastard out.”
     “Of course,” he nodded.
     Linda stormed over the stage to Chris and pushed him out the side door into the wet floored area outside, with trash cans and fish shipment trucks behind the bathroom facility.
     “This whole place reeks,” Chris mumbled.
     “Give me that,” she stole her sopping wet wallet from his hands and patted him down. “You don’t have any of my money, do you?”
     “No,” he shook his head. “We’re still together, though, Linda, aren’t we?”
     “That depends, Chris,” she frowned. “You gonna get me fired? You gonna rob me? What next—rape me?”
    “I would never.”
    “Get me drunk? Abandon me on the side of the road? Feet me to some wild coyotes?”
    “I still don’t have any money.”
    “Oh, Chris,” she patted his wet shoulder, smiling. “And I’m not gonna give it to you.”
     “Wait,” he said. She’d opened the door, but she hadn’t entered yet. In a soft voice, he said,“I love you, Linny.”
     She pursed her lips and nodded. Then, she left him freezing and dripping wet behind the zoo bathrooms.
    Chris came home to his apartment and opened the fridge. One empty plastic water bottle he’d saved from a kid’s birthday party was left. He picked it up, put it in the fridge, and got a warning flashing up: Electric Bill Unpaid.
     He laughed under his breath, “Oh, is it really unpaid? No shit.”
     Suddenly his phone began ringing on the table. He dropped the bottle and dove over to pick it up. “Hey, uh, Mom? Dad?”
     “No, dude. It’s me,” Marlin snorted.
     “Oh, yeah, man.”
     “You know it should show my name if I’m in your contacts.”
     “What’s—uh, what’s contacts?”
     “Dude,” Marlin laughed. “You have got to get your life together.”
     “Yeah,” Chris fake laughed and stuck his middle finger up at the phone.
     “I mean, you don’t even know what contacts are? It’s been out since, like, the day you were born, man.”
     “Yeah, I know, I just haven’t—”
     “Back to my point. You comin’ to my graduation? It’s on Friday.”
     “This Friday—like, in two days?”
     “Dude, you know it’s Thursday, right? Are you okay?”
     “Yeah, I’ve just had a busy day. You know, lots of bookings. The magic game is pretty tight these days,” Chris laughed. “Those parents need to get their kids out of their faces, man. You know, it’s either in their phones or magic, and they always chose magic.”
     “Okay,” Marlin clearly didn’t believe him. “So you comin’?”
     “Comin’? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I can make it. Anything for my little future surgeon bro, ya know. So, like, how far’s the drive?”
     “From your place? I’m guessing just like five hours. Not too bad compared to Mom and Dad’s twelve,” Marlin said.
     “Wait—Mom and Dad are coming?”
     “I invited them, obviously. I doubt they’ll come, though. They’re pretty far.”
     “Quit playin’, man. You know they’ll come.”
     “I mean, they didn’t even go to yours, and that was less than a one-hour drive.”
     “Yeah,” Chris paused, picking up the empty plastic bottle from the floor. “Well, I’ll see if I can come, then. I might have some stuff that day—I’ll check my schedule and, uh, let you know, Mar.”
     “Right.”
     “Well, just let me know if Mom and Dad can’t come because I’ll definitely cancel all my plans and show up for ya, then, Mar.”

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