The Harsh Prison

• Non-Fiction

								
You wake up, but wish you never had; the suffering strikes again and again, like a cruel echo.

Will they ever invent words that can hold all the pain and suffering of abuse, like a chest capable of storing the raw truth—without any makeup, without any illusions?

"HOW TO RECOVER FROM SEXUAL ABUSE?
Blade, cut, blood—the false first aid for abuse.
Psychotherapy, listening, healing—the true first aid for abuse."

Isn't it hypocritical to claim concern for sexual abuse victims, yet hand out instruction manuals on healing as if it were a simple recipe? The reality is that recovering from sexual abuse takes time, and the process differs for each person.
Personally, I haven't had good experiences with therapy, and maybe that's why I'm so frustrated. Maybe that's why this feels like an impossible journey.

Studies show that rape victims are up to 13 times more likely to attempt suicide than the general population. Now imagine facing that without a qualified psychologist.

At this point, is it really so strange that I want to escape the situation so completely that there wouldn't even be a heartbeat left in my veins, slowly turning me into a true youthful corpse?

I'm serious when I say that the desire to escape from an oppressive situation grows stronger as the pain becomes unbearable, while the state system continues to evade its responsibility. The Child Protection Council should have protected me, not become an accomplice. And in my mind, one phrase lodges itself like a thorn: "You’re not the only victim going through this; millions around the world suffer the same fate."

But I believe that justice—as we know it—is nothing more than an illusion for the oppressed and a tool for the oppressors. Take, for example, the case of Brock Turner, the Stanford student. The victim was discredited at first, but her truth was later confirmed through evidence and testimonies. Yet, despite this, the sexual assaulter received a light sentence. It was power, not justice, that decided his fate. Power decides if you deserve to live with dignity or die like some 'wretched poor soul.'

And this is the reality: while the oppressed scream for justice, the system moves at its own slow pace, favoring those who hold the reins of power. So, the question remains—how long can we continue to hope for a justice that was never truly ours?
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