Tatlings Page #5

Herein The Fortunate Readers Will Find the Happy Conjunction of two very brilliant young people, whose literary and artistic talents fit like the proverbial glove, or the musical and lyrical of those immortals, Gilbert and Sullivan. Never were epigrams more worthily illustrated, or more worthy of illustration. The joie de vivre, the humour and the human observation which run through this little volume, will I am sure make a great appeal to the public possessing or admiring those qualities.

• Fiction

								


THE history of the world is the story of how different people made the same mistake. Progress is the occasional departure from this order when someone has sufficient genius to think of a new sort of mistake to make.

WOMEN will destroy a man’s faith, his illusions, his love: but they will not destroy his letters.

A MAN goes to a woman when he is in trouble—and gets into more trouble.

IF A WOMAN wants a thing she gets it. If a man wants a thing he buys it.

OPINIONS differ as to whether it is bad to be modern or merely modern to be bad.

FIRE-ARMS and freedom are two things that very few women ever handle properly.

WHAT a woman doesn’t know she guesses, and what she guesses she knows.

NO WOMAN with real beauty ever had false modesty.

WHEN a man has money to burn the chronic borrower is a match for him.

SOME people who boast of not wearing their heart on their sleeve probably know that if they did it would give them a most awfully shabby appearance.

MOST women look better on a cushioned couch than on a pedestal, and certainly feel more at home.

WHEN a woman wants a man to love her it does not necessarily mean that she loves him; it probably means that some other woman loves him.

THERE are people who read books, look at cathedrals and commit sins merely to provide themselves with topics of conversation.

A MAN’S sense of honour is a very delicate mechanism and apt to get out of order if brought too near a pretty woman.

WOMAN is the eternal question, and man is the answer to it.

PEOPLE will tell you that they never do what they are ashamed of, when what they really mean is that they are never ashamed of what they do.

ORIGINALLY an animal, man has been improved by civilization and may eventually develop into a perfect beast.

IF A WOMAN speaks without thinking, she may perhaps say what she really thinks.

A MAN who will come and go at a woman’s word invariably has to go once oftener than he comes.

TO LOOK WELL DRESSED is a matter of technique; to look well undressed requires natural gifts.

A WOMAN should exercise the greatest care in the choice of the men she allows to love her, for by the quality of her lovers the quality of her attractions will be judged.

FEW MEN are quite so intolerable as the eulogies of the women who love them make them out to be.

A WOMAN loses her illusions at just about the same time as she loses her looks.

THE TRUE test is not whether a man behaves like a gentleman, but whether he misbehaves like one.

CONVERSATION IS listening to yourself in the presence of others.

A LOVER’S eyes are a flattering mirror.

[Illustration: woman and man seated at table with champagne bucket]

WHEN you see an old man alone you are looking at something very sad. When you see an old man with a young woman you are looking at something rich.

IT IS NOT quite fair to blame people for not possessing the virtues with which your imagination has endowed them.

A MAN’S IDEA of ‘life’ is a series of improbable situations with impossible people.

A WOMAN’S KISSES prove almost as little as her words. A man kisses a woman because she attracts him, while a woman kisses a man because she likes to attract him.

SO MANY rich men have given up all the pleasures of youth so that when they are old they can afford all the things they can no longer enjoy.

A WOMAN’S chief asset lies in what is invested with mystery; a man’s chief assets must needs be invested with knowledge.

NOW-A-DAYS it is almost impossible to keep outsiders outside.

MOST MARRIED people would get on so much better together if they were apart.

A MAN will tell a woman that he loves her for herself alone, but what he really means is that he loves her for himself alone.

MOST PEOPLE’S idea of ‘starting afresh’ is going on in the same way somewhere else.

WHEN A woman marries she displays her ability to do so. When a man marries he displays his inability not to do so.

IT IS the man with plenty of cash who gets plenty of change.

YOU CANNOT make a young girl’s interest grow by pouring lotion on a bald head.

IN MARRIAGE or any other adversity a nice man’s best points come out, which is very delightful as long as his teeth are not his best point.

NO MAN ever regrets resisting temptation, because no man ever resists a temptation.

NEVER ask a man—just make him tell you.

A MAN kisses whom he may and loves whom he mayn’t.

WHAT a woman wears reveals more than what she says.

[Illustration: fancily dressed woman]

RED haired women generally look as if they would like to be kissed, while red haired men look as if they would like to be bald.

THE book of life is illustrated in black and white; dreams are the colour supplement.

THE most tragic moment of a woman’s life is the one in which she realises that she can at last play with fire without getting burnt.

WHEN a woman believes in a man’s fidelity it is not because she trusts him, but because she has confidence in herself.

MOST people would like their own ways and other people’s means.

THERE are not enough men to go round, but some heroes attempt to put things right by going round as much as ever they can.

SUCCESSFUL men take advantage of opportunities—successful women take advantage of successful men.

MOST women start a love affair by having a secret with a man, and end by having secrets from him.

IT IS a woman’s lot to pretend to care less than she does, while a man pretends to care more than he does. They both leave off pretending about the same time.

MEN have privileges—but they have to pay the cab.

THE object of a woman with a past is probably a man with a present.
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