Lust

• Poetry

								
Love or lust.
I'm chasing a fantasy.
Craving a true heart.
Clinging to little details you notice.
Why can’t it always be love?
Lust overwhelms, yet you barely know me.

Why can’t you remember me?
Am I invisible, like the air?
You stare past my heart-are you blind?

Remember when we would stay up late?
The long calls and text threads.
Was it love, or wounds I concealed.
I reach out and remember the sting.
The coldness you bury.

Now I see you with the unattainable.
The model-shaped girls sculpted to your desires.
I compare myself and lose parts of me.
The love I had for my curves fades;
now all I see is a pig wearing lipstick.
A truth only I perceive

I want to fill you with love that breaks your chains.
Love that won’t disappoint 
Not just the line “as long as you’re happy”.

That isn’t me.
I can’t be the girl who ignores you.
or make you chase after me like a dog.
I can share my future.
Am I too bland?
Is the heart I have too big?
One minute you’re attached.
To the next, I’m nothing.

Maybe if I become you, you’ll see me.
To be you, I must sacrifice myself.
If I embrace lust, will you love me?
Or will you never love me, leaving me here,
gasping for love I will never get.
Trapped in the harsh reality.
Now bound to lust.
Is that the life I want?
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