He changed first

This story is about me and my first relationship, it goes through Gabby and Blake’s relationship and what Blake had put Gabby through the moral of it is the recovery of the relationship.

• Non-Fiction

								
I don’t know if it was just a dream or the way he made me feel was fully pure. He was beautiful but at this moment I wonder if the cut out in his chest pectus excavatum was his true flaw in being heartless. The way he could switch personalities could scar a young girl in love. But I didn’t care if his words hurt me or his intentions didn’t match mine, I just wanted him. He made me feel like I needed him. She didn’t know him like I did. We’d been together for several months but I knew no one like I knew him. All of my memories with him have started to grow blurry except the most meaningful one. When Blake kissed me for the first time. We were in my basement staring at the blank tv screen. “Are you sure you wanna try this?” He asked me. I thought I was ready and I thought it would be short and sweet. “I’m sure”. But it wasn’t what I thought. It wasn’t a magical moment, it felt like a contract that I accidentally signed allowing him to kiss me whenever he wanted. I felt stuck. Especially when the contract expanded for him to say whatever he wanted and do whatever he wanted. I was proud of myself when I stood my ground and told him no even if it meant he would never stop asking, but I could hear my voice and nothing could change my mind. “Gabby, this girl won’t stop snapping me.” My head was pounding in confusion, why would he tell me that? “Who?” I asked, feeling very stupid on the other end of the phone. “I don’t know we’re just asking each other things”. I still don’t understand why I was so hurt. It was some girl neither of us knew. Maybe it was the fact he wanted me to add her too. Being a “jealous girlfriend” at my age felt ridiculous. Almost embarrassing. I blocked her immediately after saying “hi” to her. Blake was still so confused why I had to block her, and honestly I was too. When I think about it now I think I miss his dogs and parents more than I miss him. People change even the ones you think you know. It still feels like the good in him died in October. Maybe that’s dramatic but I never saw him do another nice thing for someone. At least not publicly. Maybe I should’ve been the one to stop it. But I got attached. I let him win. The way he let and still lets his friends treat me badly is sickening. All I think of when I see one of them is what they thought of me. Almost all of his friends thought I was ugly and he would tell me who and when they said it which hurt most. One of them said “she’s just flat and ugly, what’s the point?” It sounds silly but I’m still insecure and scared. They’d sometimes throw things at me like pencils, bottle caps, and even snacks. They’d call me offensive slurs and disgusting names. I hate them. I hate how he let them take my confidence. There were many more moments like that one. But I also made some really great ones with Blake. When we went to homecoming and the zoo. When we watched scream, Barbie, and Outer banks together. Or maybe my favorite was when we jumped on my trampoline together like little kids. How he took a water gun and chased me around my backyard trying to spray my makeup off me telling me I didn’t need it. But by far my favorite moment with him was going to the amusement park together, how we’d hold hands on roller coasters, the way he looked at me when I screamed as we went upside down on a roller coaster, the way his mom videotaped us on the scrambler as I slid closer to him. Those were the only memories worth keeping, the ones you can tell someone to warm their heart. Young love rarely lasts, but in the very end when you're not sad or angry anymore you realize you’ll grow and be better from that relationship. Blake and Gabby were not meant to be. But Gabby isn’t afraid anymore. I’m glad Blake left me. Or I’d probably still be stuck wondering if I’m good enough for him. After all this you wanna know how it ended. And trust me it wasn’t pretty. On Saturday I had the best day of my life. I woke up, did my makeup and sat in the freezing cold through Blake’s sports game. I was glad I saw his game but I was upset he didn’t say hi to me when I was there. He didn’t say thank you on text either. But I went on with my day to ride horses with my friend Liz, and after I went to an escape room. Best day ever. And I was going to an amusement park the next day with my best friend. But that Sunday afternoon I got the text. “Gabby, can I come over really quick?” The second I heard the knock on the door I knew what was coming next. Maybe I should’ve given him more credit for doing it in person. But I was heartbroken even more when I found out it was to be with another girl. Obviously that girl was beautiful and popular. Unfortunately for Blake she ended it with him. I was upset at first but I have made it through the pain. I’m able to express my thoughts about it now and I’m proud I’m not a bully now like Blake is who is still making fun of people with his friends. I’m happy and taking my life with more precautions. I've made more friends and am way happier. He may have changed first but I definitely changed for the better.
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