Felt loved or not at all

• Romance

								
The sunrise in the morning light of eyes that smile. Tenderness an warmth of comfort. Don't shred what little is left of love in me. Melt my skin with the touch of your hands. As I sink into soil with painless feelings. My heart fills full with all of its surroundings. Paint me a perfect picture an you still be missing. Light my fire with your ignition. Hold on to the flames that burn without fluid. Frustration of anger an emotionally reckless as tears flow from my eyes cause your missing. When your a child all you want is to have a family to love. My family is missing a valuable member. Will you be able to fill this gab that leaves my heart broken. I would be the one to give you the clothes off my back.. I would be there in a instant even if I had to hitchhike for millions of miles. I want to be the butterflies that flutter in your stomach. I want to be the fulfillment of a whole that got filled with cement. Measure me a cup an I would give you a mile. I want to be the light of the star in your universe. Will be my planet an I be your ring. I will be surrounded by the protector. I didn't mean to have less of no emotions an you not care at all. I will never be loved. I will never be loved. I will never be loved. I know I am just a mirror of insanity that pleads for something an someone she will never have. I want to be that one to make birthdays special an your christmas a night for you to never forget. I want to be that package you can unwrap an never get tired of the memories that unfold with a chance to challenge each day with a new colorful ribbon to wrap up the weakness that makes me crack. Fold me inside a suitcase like I was a blanket you could always use me. I want to be the butter to your biscuit. The jam to your peanut butter. I just want you for forever but that is not a chance in hell that you will love someone as broken like me with no set attachments. Will I melt that sword that sticks in my chest like cupid's Arrow shot from the silent of the night when the moon shines at its fullest.I want to be the batter to your pancake. I want to be the battle to your war. I want to be the silk that you put upon your skin the sinks into the right creases. I know I am a f*ck up an I am the one to blame. I am lazy an depression. I am a bomb ready to explode. If I had every ounce of sugar to explain the here an now! An the why? Why me? Why was I the one that gets punished with pain, agony, an loneliness. Is there ever a point in life that I would matter an have the love of another that will never run from commitment. It is that maybe I am not the match to your missing puzzle piece. I might not be the pattern to your color. I might not be the one you want to love. I am the one left second guessing myself an my own feelings of darkness underneath the light that flutters when a ghosts walks bye an you feel a slight smell of odder. Like you know that someone is watching over you.I want to be the cub grows into the bear that tares into solid rock. I want to be the right hook that knocks you down an picks you up again when your down. I want to always be the one that picks you up an carries you. I want to be the one to take care of you when your lying in a hospital barley able to get up. I want to be your arms, your legs, your movement when your learning to walk again. As long as you will be my heart. Please don't stab me in my back. Just hold on to me an love me with every touch an ounce of warmth of skinless bones. I want to bond with a connection that is unbreakable. Not even an ounce of hatred or madness from ex's or other woman can tare into our standing white rock that stands with a lit up fireplace with water falls beside them that light up your face as the sun goes down an romance comes out of the passion between two people. I guess I was just a f*ck an not someone you wanted to love. I don't want to be here. I want to get away he has a grip upon me that makes me feel bad that I don't want to leave him hanging out to dry. He is drowning me under this hole that I am trying to back out of. I want an have to get away from this home even if I loose my place. As long as I don't loose my kids there the only that keeps me surviving with the little a want to live. If I could find the bonus question to my written out essay with a grade of an A. I want to be your alphabet with mixed up numbers. Can you measure me an see which part of me matters to a man like you that would hold the thunder to my storm an the lightning before my tornado. I want to be your mixture of sleet an snow. I want to be the white in the middle of your Oreo so you can lick me all over. Or was I just the lay me down when you needed a nut with your google goggles that was never going to be a thought. If I could so you passionate love between making the wrinkles crinkle in the warmth of a hole that could be filled with piece of meat boiling with steaming hot volcano of hot lava ready to ignite with an erupts. Let me be your carryout to your takeout. Nope you stay one night an disappear like a ghosts. How do you break up with someone that never mattered. Disappear like a ghost that walks at night into the dawn of a cave to rest. Lay with me to unite us a whole that can only revoke her past from stalling me.An striking me down leaving battered in a grave six feet under. I need the connection of a partnership that not be bended. I don't want to feel broken. I want the emotionless armory of guns without bullets. I will be your bandage to cover up your wounds. I want to be the sound that the angels sing when we get to heaven an all sins are forgiven. I want to be the mountains to a mole hill that can't fight the rapture. To be captured an tied down an held hostage. To send me away like a package with a posted. I don't want to be the other half of the world that everyone is two faced an wants to take every brick of emotion that holds me together like powered clay with a little water. I just want to put all surrender with every inch of sudden moment of romance left in me to make every major memory that will never fade or be erased. I want to to be stuck there like brainwaves that sends different motor skills to your body that keeps you moving with every step up a ladder of fallen hope for no one to be there to catch you when you fall. Your just always left broken. With a ball that hits like a broken bat that is already battered from the bruised inside the tears of a week woman with shattered glass as a heart that will never be full but will always be empty that was until I met you an you melted me like a stick of butter. I thought for just a second I had meaning left for myself but now I know I will always mean nothing to anyone.
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