Desperate Love

I wrote this story to express how much I want to be loved, but how nobody wants to love me.

• Drama
• Romance
• Short story

								
All I’ve ever wanted to be is loved. I was never loved by my parents. Never noticed or nourished, only neglected and made to feel worthless. My parents would buy me gifts to make up for it and would get mad at me when I didn’t appreciate them. They never noticed that I wanted to be loved, so I never told them. I live in a big and remarkable house that I could never call a home, and survive, live amongst a beautiful view that I can't appreciate behind these walls. I feel trapped in this house, with these people that could never qualify as family to me, but from the outside we look like we’re living our best lives and we fake goodbyes and kisses at school drop off for all the other housewives to envy. I could just die. I want to die, but I can't. I need to know what it feels like to be loved. To be someone's whole world. To be safe and secured, and fulfilled in life. 
I'm giving life one last shot, and first things first, I need to get away. 
I pack a bag with outfits that will never be stylish enough to top my sister’s or small enough to share, seeing as I have a rather curvy and taller figure than her, sitting at about 5 '11. I pack food that my mother reckons I don't need and money that I have saved up for at my casual job that I will never again show up to. Before I exit through my bedroom window I write a note to my parents just in case they care where I have gone.
I'm staying over at my friend's house for a week, 
her father has passed and she needs all the comfort she can get. 
If you need me just text. 
Samone. 
I don't think twice as I lie through my teeth while writing the note and leave it on my bedroom table as I sneak out my bedroom window, into the back garden. I look at the sunset for the first time; it looks beautiful. I feel something release in my chest, like a weight has been lifted, and it just now hits me…. I’m free. I've escaped, snuck out and am never going to return. It feels like such a high, being free. No worries, anything and everything to do, it feels euphoric, and for the first time ever I feel like I'm in a healthy atmosphere where anything is possible. 
I exit the grounds of my old house and head towards a train station in the city which is only a twenty minute walk, that I use to think about all the things I should, could and will do, while still keeping my eye on the prize. Love, the very thing I escaped left for in the first place. When I get to the train station I take the first train to Bridgetown, where I have planned to stay the very moment I planned to leave two weeks ago. My parents don't know this and wouldn't care to know this but after I took my ATAR I applied to universities and got a spot at Bridgetown university, one of the best in the country and one that prioritizes what I want to be; an astrophysicist. And starting next week, when I turn eighteen, I won't have to worry about ever coming home, now that I've got a full scholarship and only two months left of high-school. 
When the train arrives on board I see that it is packed to the doors with people of all ages and all occupations returning home from work. I've never been afraid of public transportation most likely because I've never actually used it before, but that's just one more thing I can add to the list of new things I'm doing. As the train stops at every stop the people inside the train become less and less, and I'm finally able to sit down. The train keeps stopping until there are only two people left. Myself and a boy that seems to be the same age as me on his phone. I continue to listen to my music and keep an eye out for my stop as I admire the handsome facial structure of his face and the subtle but striking facial features, so perfect the only possible reason being that he was sculpted by Greek gods. I look away not trying to be weird or make him feel uncomfortable, but when I put my head down I see a pair of legs walk over and sit next to me. 
My heart flutters and my mind is a mess. Why has he sat next to me? Oh no did he see me staring at him? Was I staring?                                                                                                       He taps my shoulder and I look at him. He has a kind smile on his face, which makes me remove my headphones. 
“Hi” his voice is manly but not harsh. It's kind. 
“Hi” breathed out, for some reason out of breath. 
“What's your name?” he asks me, and for some reason i can’t remember as I'm being starstruck by his green eyes, that stare directly into my chocolate brown ones. 
“Samone madden.” my heart is beating so fast I’m sure he can hear it. “What’s your name?” I ask , trying to sound confident. 
“Jacob Barlow.” he answers then goes back to searching my chocolate eyes. For what? I have no idea, but I don't abject. 
Samone Barlow, I like that, and even better, I like him. 
“Where are you stopping?” he asks me, and I might be desperate for love, but I'm not stupid enough to give away personal information to some guy I just met, on a train of all places. I snap out of his green eyes. 
“Hey, how do I know you're not a stalker?” I joke, but I am genuinely confronting him.
He laughs, “I promise I'm just a normal guy.” I give him a side eye. “Well I'm stopping at Bridgetown, I study at the university there.” well I guess there's no point hiding it now.
“That's actually where I'm stopping too. I'll be attending the university next year.” 
Our conversation continues on from there and we walk off the train together. I tell him that I'm planning on staying at a motel until I find some place better before the next school year. He insists on walking me to the motel and when we arrive there he helps me get into a room, then we exchange numbers, and he leaves, and I go to bed, with butterflies fluttering in my stomach, if it feels too good to be true. 
The next morning I woke up with the sun in my face, and the most beautiful view I have ever seen. Then my phone dings and suddenly I see an even better view. Jacob has texted me. The message reads. 
“Get up sleepy head I'm coming with coffee.” I smile so big it hurts but I don't care. I need to get ready. I brush the rat's nest that is my hair and put it into a high ponytail, then I brush my teeth, and rush to pick an outfit. I haven't felt this happy since I was a child. I choose to wear some blue jeans with a fitted top with a jacket over it, I put on some shoes then I'm out the door. I don't wait any time before I see Jacob with two coffee’s in his hand that I drink despite not liking coffee. 
“Where are we going?” I ask before sipping on some strong coffee. 
“Secret.” That one word is my only answer. My only clue. We walk for ten minutes talking about nonsense, neither of us drinking much coffee. 
“Ugh” he says after taking his third sip of coffee. “I can't do this, coffee is disgusting.” 
Relief lifts from my chest as I agree with him and we throw our coffee’s out at the next garbage bin we see. We walk for another ten minutes before we stop at a tall gate made of wood. Jacob crouches down and puts his hands over each other. 

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