Behind her Eyes

A story for broken hearted givers.

• Romance

								
If you asked her what kind of love it was, she would stare back unspoken with what seemed to be a blank stare. But only if you were to look closer behind her icey blue eyes you would see the years of dead memories and pain conspiring behind them. A love and pain that was only known by the one set of eyes and not the other pair that were a deep oak, owned by the latter. Truthfully, this love was not an easy story to tell. What seemed like a young, naïve relationship on the outside was mistaken, only to be discovered by something greater. So again, if you were to ask her what kind of love it was, the look behind her eyes would symbolize the very fact that she would burn holes in her skin if he wanted to touch her bones. She would never eat, if he were hungry; She would never breathe, if he needed more air and she would suffer the heartache of increasing the size of her heart just to love him harder. Despite the pain, the neglect, the resentment. Despite tampering her own ego, begging for him to love her and sacrificing her own happiness to ensure he was taken care of, she would suffer the heartache of loving him. Behind her eyes, she saw the being she once knew to be safe, strong, and gentle turn into the ball of fire that would soon light her entire world and burn it to the ground. Her soul, identity, and spirit being taken down and exiled in the same breath. A nomad in her own world. A human body exterior, only to find an empty hollow inside. Once home to a heart that beat with passion and contentment, lungs that only had air when he was near, and a soul that was safe within the arms of his. 
From the moment the sun rises to the moment her body goes to sleep at night, there is a piece of him that lingers in everything that she does. Every conversation, every meal, every joke, every street, every season, she is reminded of the ghost of her life she once had with the person she thought she knew. Praying for 5 more minutes because her heart could only grow so much more to love him and she knew this. What a life it is to be completely in love with someone who can dismiss your existence in a matter of days. In a matter of seconds. Its so hard to let go but if she continues with this person she is committing a slow suicide just for her heart to eventually be unmendable. Break after break, small pieces are still unfound. Giving her love away for free, selflessly choosing him even after the lies, the manipulation, and tribulations.  She had no idea that one day the person that gave her the ability to breathe would soon take her air away. Tragically, for him, she would suffocate just to get to feel his warmth one more time, hear his voice, and be within the comfort of his arms even for the 5 more minutes of heartache. She would find him in her dreams, and would begin to prefer it because that is where he is hers. She would look for him in every conversation, every interaction, and every setting, just to find a resemblance her heart could hold onto. She may meet other beings down the road that fill a piece of her void full body. They may make her laugh and bring out a smile. But they would not give her the air she breathes. They would not mend her spirit or her soul, in fact their souls would never meet, and she would prefer it that way. Her soul would be states away, haunting and mourning the loss of his. Hoping one day in another lifetime they will find each other again. For in this lifetime, he will only ever be behind her eyes. 
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