Alice, or the Mysteries — Book 06

								

broken off; such was the on dit in the club, just before you entered."
"Contradict it, my dear lord,--contradict it.  I hope by the spring to
introduce Lady Vargrave to you.  But who broached the absurd report?"
"Why, your protege, Legard, says he heard so from his uncle, who heard
it from Sir John Merton."
"Legard is a puppy, and Sir John Merton a jackass.  Legard had better
attend to his office, if he wants to get on; and I wish you'd tell him
so.  I have heard somewhere that he talks of going to Paris,--you can
just hint to him that he must give up such idle habits.  Public
functionaries are not now what they were,--people are expected to work
for the money they pocket; otherwise Legard is a cleverish fellow, and
deserves promotion.  A word or two of caution from you will do him a vast
deal of good."
"Be sure I will lecture him.  Will you dine with me to-day, Lumley?"
"No.  I expect my co-trustee, Mr. Douce, on matters of business,--a
tete-a-tete dinner."
Lord Vargrave had, as he conceived, very cleverly talked over Mr. Douce
into letting his debt to that gentleman run on for the present; and in
the meanwhile, he had overwhelmed Mr. Douce with his condescensions.
That gentleman had twice dined with Lord Vargrave, and Lord Vargrave had
twice dined with him.  The occasion of the present more familiar
entertainment was in a letter from Mr. Douce, begging to see Lord
Vargrave on particular business; and Vargrave, who by no means liked the
word business from a gentleman to whom he owed money, thought that it
would go off more smoothly if sprinkled with champagne.
Accordingly, he begged "My dear Mr. Douce" to excuse ceremony, and dine
with him on Thursday at seven o'clock,--he was really so busy all the
mornings.
At seven o'clock, Mr. Douce came.  The moment he entered Vargrave called
out, at the top of his voice, "Dinner immediately!"  And as the little
man bowed and shuffled, and fidgeted and wriggled (while Vargrave shook
him by the hand), as if he thought he was going himself to be spitted,
his host said, "With your leave, we'll postpone the budget till after
dinner.  It is the fashion nowadays to postpone budgets as long as we
can,--eh?  Well, and how are all at home?  Devilish cold; is it not?  So
you go to your villa every day?  That's what keeps you in such capital
health.  You know I had a villa too,--though I never had time to go
there."
"Ah, yes; I think, I remember, at Ful-Ful-Fulham!" gasped out Mr. Douce.
"Your poor uncle's--now Lady Var-Vargrave's jointure-house.  So--so--"
"She don't live there!" burst in Vargrave (far too impatient to be
polite).  "Too cockneyfied for her,--gave it up to me; very pretty place,
but d-----d expensive.  I could not afford it, never went there, and so I
have let it to my wine-merchant; the rent just pays his bill.  You will
taste some of the sofas and tables to-day in his champagne.  I don't know