The Wag-Lady Page #3

"The Wag-Lady" by Rex Ellingwood Beach is a novel that revolves around the life of a spirited and independent woman who navigates the complexities of love, ambition, and societal expectations. Set against a vivid backdrop, the story explores themes of romance and personal growth as the protagonist deals with the challenges of her unconventional lifestyle while pursuing her dreams. Beach's engaging narrative and rich character development provide readers with a glimpse into the struggles and triumphs of the human experience, all infused with wit and charm.

• Short story

								


"They came to--rob me, and you knew it--"

"Sure! Harry Hope got full and told about leaving eight thousand dollars
with you; so we beat 'em to it."

"But why didn't you say so? You frightened me."

"We wasn't sure they'd try it, and we didn't like to work you up."

"Please--who are you?"

"Us? Why, we're Wag-boys! Llewellyn's our pal. I'm Charley Fitzhugh;
they call me the Dummy. And this is Thomasville."

Thomasville nodded and mumbled greetings without removing his thumb from
his mouth, whereupon June began to express her gratitude. But thanks
threw the Wag-boys into confusion, it seemed, and they quickly bade her
an embarrassed good night.

Now that they had removed the weight of obligation that had rested upon
them, the Wags became more neighborly. Llewellyn and the Scrap Iron Kid
called to explain that the Dummy and Thomasville had broken all rules of
friendship by "hogging the spotlight" and to express their own regret at
having been absent during the attempted hold-up.

June was eating her midnight lunch when they came, and after they had
left Llewellyn said:

"She didn't have any butter, Kid. Notice it?"

"Sure. Butter's peluk. Rothstein cornered the supply, and he's holding
it for a raise."

"Where does he keep it?"

"In that big tent back of his store, along with his other stuff."

Now, the Wag-boys did nothing by halves. About dusk the following day
the Rothstein watchman was accosted by a stranger who had just muched in
from the creek. The two gossiped for a moment. Then, as the stranger
made off, he slipped and fell, injuring himself so painfully that the
watchman was forced to help him down to Kelly's drug-store. Upon
returning from this labor of charity the watchman discovered, to his
amazement and horror, that during his absence two men had entered the
tent by means of a six-foot slit in the rear wall. They had brought a
sled with them, moreover, and had made off with about five hundred
dollars' worth of Rothstein's heart's blood, labeled "Cold Brook
Creamery, Extra Fine."

The next morning when June returned to her cabin she found a case of
butter.

A few days later the Dummy discovered a string of ptarmigan hanging
beside the rear door of a restaurant, and, desiring to offer June some
delicate little attention, he returned after dark and removed them. As
ptarmigan were selling at five dollars a brace, he was careful to
protect the girl; he sat on the back steps of the restaurant and picked
the birds thoroughly, scattering the feathers with a careless hand.

Scarcely a day passed that June did not receive something from the Wags,
but of course she never dreamed that her gifts had been stolen. As for
her admirers, it was the highest mark of their esteem thus to lay at her
feet the choicest fruits of their precarious labors, and, although they
were common thieves--nay, worse than that--they stole rather from love
of excitement than for hope of gain, and the more fantastic the
adventure the more it tickled their distorted fancies.

They were most amusing, and June grew to like them immensely. She began
to mother them in the way that pleases all women. She ruled them like a
family of wayward children, she settled their disputes, and they
submitted with subdued, though extravagant, joy. She asked Llewellyn
once about that wound in his arm, but he lied fluently, and she believed
him, for she was not the kind to credit evil of her friends.

Once they had received encouragement, they fairly monopolized her. She
was never safe from interruption, for the Wag-boys never slept. They
came to her cabin singly and collectively at all hours of day or night,
during her absence or during her presence, and they never failed to
leave something behind them.

Reddy was a good cook, but he loathed a stove as he loathed a policeman,
yet he donned an apron, and at the cost of much profanity and sweat
produced a chocolate cake that would have done credit to a New England
housewife. Furthermore, it bore June's name in a beautiful scroll
surrounded by a chocolate wreath, and she found it on her bed when she
came home one morning.

Chancing to express a liking for oysters in the hearing of the Scrap
Iron Kid, she mysteriously received a whole case of them when she knew
very well that there were none in camp. Of course she did not dream that
in securing them the Kid had put his person in deadly peril.

On returning from her duties at another time she found that during the
night the interior walls of her cabin had been painted, and, although
she did not want them painted and although the smell gave her a violent
headache, she pretended to be overcome with delight. In order to
beautify her little nest Reddy had burgled a store and stolen all the
paint there was of the particular shade that pleased his eye.

Now, the Wag-boys pretended to be care-free and happy as time went on.
In reality they were gnawed by a secret trouble--it was June's growing
fondness for Harry Hope. After careful observation they decided that the
P. C. agent would not do at all; he was too wild. He had undeniably lost
his head and was gambling heavily, tempted perhaps by the lax morality
of the camp and the license of good times.

It was the Dummy who finally proposed a means of safeguarding June's
wandering affections.

"Somebody's got to split her away from this Hope," he declared. "It's up
to us, and Llewellyn's the only one in her class."

The Scrap Iron Kid's face assumed an ugly yellow cast as he inquired,
quietly, "D'you mean George is to marry her?"

"Hardly!" exploded the Dummy. "Just toll her away."

"Why shouldn't I marry her?" Llewellyn demanded.

"I can think of five reasons," the Kid retorted. He tapped his chest
with his finger. "Here's one, and there's the other four." He pointed to
the other Wag-boys. "D'you think we'd let you marry her? Huh! I'd sooner
marry her myself."

Llewellyn ended the discussion by stamping out of the cabin, cursing his
partners with violence.

Business of the P. C. Company took Harry Hope to Council City in
February; so the Wags felt easier--but only for a time. They found that
June was grieving for him, and were plunged into deep despair until
Scrap Iron came home with the explanation that the lovers had quarreled
before parting. It was a signal for a celebration during which Reddy
cooked wildly for a week, making puddings and pies and pastries, most of
which were smuggled into June's cabin. Thomasville journeyed out to a
certain roadhouse run by a Frenchman, and returned with a case of eggs
wrapped up in a woolen comforter. It required the combined perjury of
the other Wags to prove an alibi for him, but June had an omelet every
morning thereafter.

Then, just as they were weaning her away, as they thought, the blow
fell. It came with a crushing force that left them dumb and
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