The Story of St. Vespaluus Page #3

"The Story of St. Vespaluus" by Hector Hugh Munro, also known as Saki, is a satirical short story that explores themes of religious hypocrisy and the absurdities of human behavior. Set in a whimsical world, the narrative follows the eccentric tale of St. Vespaluus, whose unconventional life and miraculous feats challenge societal norms and expectations. Through dark humor and clever storytelling, Munro critiques the nature of belief and the often ridiculous lengths to which people will go in the name of piety. The story is emblematic of Saki's sharp wit and keen observations of Edwardian society.

• Short story

								

transposed in the popular imagination into a royal boy-saint, whose
fame attracted throngs of curious and devout sightseers to the capital.
Vespaluus, who was busily engaged in organizing the games and athletic
contests that were to mark the commencement of his reign, had no time
to give heed to the religious fervour which was effervescing round his
personality; the first indication he had of the existing state of
affairs was when the Court Chamberlain (a recent and very ardent
addition to the Christian community) brought for his approval the
outlines of a projected ceremonial cutting-down of the idolatrous
serpent-grove.

"'Your Majesty will be graciously pleased to cut down the first tree
with a specially consecrated axe,' said the obsequious official.

"'I'll cut off your head first, with any axe that comes handy,' said
Vespaluus indignantly; 'do you suppose that I'm going to begin my reign
by mortally affronting the sacred serpents?  It would be most unlucky.'

"'But your Majesty's Christian principles?' exclaimed the bewildered
Chamberlain.

"'I never had any,' said Vespaluus; 'I used to pretend to be a
Christian convert just to annoy Hkrikros.  He used to fly into such
delicious tempers.  And it was rather fun being whipped and scolded and
shut up in a tower all for nothing.  But as to turning Christian in
real earnest, like you people seem to do, I couldn't think of such a
thing.  And the holy and esteemed serpents have always helped me when
I've prayed to them for success in my running and wrestling and
hunting, and it was through their distinguished intercession that the
bees were not able to hurt me with their stings.  It would be black
ingratitude, to turn against their worship at the very outset of my
reign.  I hate you for suggesting it.'

"The Chamberlain wrung his hands despairingly.

"'But, your Majesty,' he wailed, 'the people are reverencing you as a
saint, and the nobles are being Christianized in batches, and
neighbouring potentates of that Faith are sending special envoys to
welcome you as a brother.  There is some talk of making you the patron
saint of beehives, and a certain shade of honey-yellow has been
christened Vespaluusian gold at the Emperor's Court.  You can't surely
go back on all this.'

"'I don't mind being reverenced and greeted and honoured,' said
Vespaluus; 'I don't even mind being sainted in moderation, as long as
I'm not expected to be saintly as well.  But I wish you clearly and
finally to understand that I will NOT give up the worship of the august
and auspicious serpents.'

"There was a world of unspoken bear-pit in the way he uttered those
last words, and the mulberry-dark eyes flashed dangerously.

"'A new reign,' said the Chamberlain to himself, 'but the same old
temper.'

"Finally, as a State necessity, the matter of the religions was
compromised.  At stated intervals the king appeared before his subjects
in the national cathedral in the character of St. Vespaluus, and the
idolatrous grove was gradually pruned and lopped away till nothing
remained of it.  But the sacred and esteemed serpents were removed to a
private shrubbery in the royal gardens, where Vespaluus the Pagan and
certain members of his household devoutly and decently worshipped them.
That possibly is the reason why the boy-king's success in sports and
hunting never deserted him to the end of his days, and that is also the
reason why, in spite of the popular veneration for his sanctity, he
never received official canonization."

"It has stopped raining," said the Baroness.
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