Indigo Rock Page #8

Is it possible to grieve someone before they're gone?

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An ephemeral gift, or curse. 

The next morning, I give Reece a kiss as he leaves for work. During his senior year at Notre Dame, he suffered a career-ending injury and had
to retire from sports. He had already prepared for
it, funnily enough. He saw it coming---that day on the mountain, yet kept it a secret to avoid putting his tragedy over mine. 

Is my boyfriend a saint? Possibly. 

The morning rolls on, and as I'm making a pot of coffee, my cup nearly slips out of my hand upon seeing a notification. The phone trembles in my hand. It's a DM from Cyrus. 

My twin. My other half. "You're losing it, Jess," I mutter. My eyes flicker back to my phone. Clear as day: Message From Cyrus. A video message, to be exact. The thumbnail shows him wearing hiking gear, standing in the woods. 

The memory slowly creeps back to me. That morning before I left for school, Cyrus said he would go for a walk. Did that "walk" include a visit to a certain stone? "You little dweeb..." I chuckle. 

Of course he went back. It wouldn't be Cyrus if he didn't go out on his own terms. With a deep breath, I press the play button. 

"Testing. One two. Ugh, I feel so stupid. If this is you and Reece playing a prank on me, I'm gonna kill you guys. Hiking with an oxygen tank is not easy! But, um, on the off chance that you were telling the truth, I just want you to know: I'm so proud of you, Jess. Like, so fucking proud. You have a habit of bringing yourself down. Why do you do that? You always say I'm the better twin, but that's bullshit. You're a rock star. After high school, you're gonna live, and thrive, and grow. 

Sure, you might trip and fall along the way. Hell, you might even crash and burn. But guess what? You're gonna get up. And you're gonna try again. Because we're both fighters, Jess. You hear me? Both of us. You're gonna rock on, with or without me. 

Promise me, okay? 

Anyways, I'm gonna head back soon. I passed by the old reservoir on my way up, I think I'll stop by and say hey to our frogs. Oh, sorry. Tadpoles. It's funny, actually. I spent all these years calling you Tadpole. When really, I'm the tadpole, and you're the one that has to let me go. It's okay, Jess. It's okay to let me go. 

I'm signing off now. I love you, and I'll catch you on the flip side." He shaped half a heart with his palm, and the video ends.


EPILOGUE


My breath quickens as I approach the front of the line. The fact that it's rush hour at the airport certainly doesn't help my nerves. After five years in the big city, I'm finally going back. "You're sure you don't want me to come?" Reece asks for the hundredth time. 

"It's something I need to do alone." I kiss him on the cheek. "I'll be back before you know it." 

On the flight, I close my eyes for what seemed to be a wink, but when I open them, I've reached my destination. The mountain town I had left behind.
Mom waits for me at the front door as I step out the cab, face brighter than a summer day. I greet our old neighbors, visit old friends, the obligatory jaunts --- though my focus is elsewhere. 

The next day, I leave the house at the crack of dawn, my hiking gear in tow. The woodsy scents I was deprived of come wafting back, and with it the memories. I hike up the embankment, past a maze of pines, and there it stands in front of me. The stone in the tree. 

Indigo Rock burned with the luminosity of a thousand stars. Maybe it's happy to see me. 

In a mechanical voice, it gurgled: 

Look upon the rock... you must know more. 

More. MORE! 

A smirk tugs at the corner of my lips. I take out my phone, but instead of letting the purple mist have its way, I toss my phone down on the pine needles. "Goodbye," I murmur. 

The air around me no longer feels like a raging river. I could feel the oxygen, surging inside my lungs. I turn my back on the stone, and wander calmly into the vastness of the forest.
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