Father AlexyÉi's Story Page #5

"Father AlexyÉi's Story" is a poignant short story by Ivan Sergeevich Turgenev that explores themes of faith, redemption, and the complexities of human relationships. The narrative follows Father AlexyÉi, a Russian Orthodox priest, as he reflects on his life, struggles, and the moral dilemmas he faces within his spiritual duties and personal interactions. Through rich character development and evocative prose, Turgenev delves into the internal conflicts of the protagonist, highlighting the often challenging interplay between spirituality and worldly concerns. The story offers a profound commentary on the nature of compassion and the search for meaning in a turbulent world.

								

calamity had descended upon us! I set out for home, for I thought, "He
has certainly fled thither."--And so he had. Six versts out of the town
I espied him; he was striding along the highway. I overtook him, jumped
out of the cart, and rushed to him.

"Yásha! Yásha!"--He halted, turned his face toward me, but kept his eyes
fixed on the ground and compressed his lips. And say what I would to
him, he stood there just like a statue, and one could just see that he
was breathing. And at last he trudged on again along the highway.--What
was there to do? I followed him....

Akh, what a journey that was, my dear sir! Great as had been our joy on
the way to Vorónezh, just so great was the horror of the return! I would
try to speak to him, and he would begin to gnash his teeth at me over
his shoulder, precisely like a tiger or a hyena! Why I did not go mad I
do not understand to this day! And at last, one night, in a peasant's
chicken-house, he was sitting on the platform over the oven and dangling
his feet and gazing about on all sides, when I fell on my knees before
him and began to weep, and besought him with bitter entreaty:

"Do not slay thy old father outright," I said; "do not let him fall
into despair--tell me what has happened to thee?"

He glanced at me as though he did not see who was before him, and
suddenly began to speak, but in such a voice that it rings in my ears
even now.

"Listen, daddy," said he. "Dost thou wish to know the whole truth? When
I had taken the communion, thou wilt remember, and still held the
particle[26] in my mouth, suddenly he (and that was in the church, in
the broad daylight!) stood in front of me, just as though he had sprung
out of the ground, and whispered to me ... (but he had never spoken to
me before)--whispered: 'Spit it out, and grind it to powder!' I did so;
I spat it out, and ground it under foot. And now it must be that I am
lost forever, for every sin shall be forgiven, save the sin against the
Holy Spirit...."

And having uttered these dreadful words, my son threw himself back on
the platform and I dropped down on the floor of the hut.... My legs
failed me....

Father Alexyéi paused for a moment, and covered his eyes with his hand.

But why should I weary you longer [he went on], and myself? My son and I
dragged ourselves home, and there he soon afterward expired, and I lost
my Yásha. For several days before his death he neither ate nor drank,
but kept running back and forth in the room and repeating that there
could be no forgiveness for his sin.... But he never saw him again.
"He has ruined my soul," he said; "and why should he come any more
now?" And when Yákoff took to his bed, he immediately sank into
unconsciousness, and thus, without repentance, like a senseless worm,
he went from this life to life eternal....

But I will not believe that the Lord judged harshly....

And among other reasons why I do not believe it is, that he looked so
well in his coffin; he seemed to have grown young again and resembled
the Yákoff of days gone by. His face was so tranquil and pure, his hair
curled in little rings, and there was a smile on his lips. Márfa
Sávishna came to look at him, and said the same thing. She encircled him
all round with flowers, and laid flowers on his heart, and set up the
gravestone at her own expense.

And I was left alone.... And that is why, my dear sir, you have beheld
such great grief on my face.... It will never pass off---and it cannot.

I wanted to speak a word of comfort to Father Alexyéi ... but could
think of none. We parted soon after.
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