English as She is Taught Page #10

As the greatest compliment that could be paid a writer would be the assumption that the material contained in this little volume was the product of that writer's ingenuity or imagination, it seems needless for the compiler to state that every line is just what it purports to be, - bona fide answers to questions asked in the public schools. Mark Twain, with his inimitable drollery, comments in the "Century Magazine" for April, 1887, upon "English As She is Taught." Even this master of English humor acknowledges his inability to comprehend how such

• Humour

								

           Our angel Reason holds. We had not walked
           But for Tradition; we walk evermore
           To higher paths, by brightening Reason’s lamp.
                         The Spanish Gypsy.  GEORGE ELIOT.

Was it not for Tradition we would not travel this far. We are still walking to brighter steps by shining our brains. What little intellect we have, if it was well shined, it might do a great deal.

                                   ⁂

Man is guided by two spirits, evil and good, and if the evil spirit (before he was a good one) had been a good one, man would not have been created.

                                   ⁂

Man’s path guides two angels. One is old and one is young. Ones names Memory and one is Tradition. One floats round and hunts for things on the earth. Memory clings to the cheek and shines the lamp that Reason holds. Tradition helps us to walk and we brighten up Reason’s lamp.

                                   ⁂

Two great Powers or Forces guide men and women in this world whether they be young or old, and these powers are still growing through numbers of years.

                                   ⁂

We lean on Mearcy and Tradition. But whatere it may be, the sound is sweet with vast mysterious accords. Then Power or Mearcy glares above us, and there looks down upon us with extreme splendor.

                                   ⁂

Memory still shines reflecting that light our senses tell us of, or that is within our brains, if we have any. And I suppose we are all gifted with a little.

                                   ⁂

Had an angel never committed sin, we never would have been created and guarded by a heavenly spirit.

                                  VII.
                              Historical.

                             (American.)

Christopher Columbus went to sea untill he was 14 years of age. He dreamed there was a place named America and after much adversity he finally discovered it.

Christopher Columbus was called the Father of his Country.

Queen Isabella of Spain sold her watch and chain and other millinery so that Columbus could discover America.

Columbus set sale in three small ships called Nina, Pinter and Santa Anna.

The first land Columbus discovered was Gibraltar.

Columbus was the first white man who discovered America.

Columbus knew the earth was round because he balanced an egg on the table.

Columbus perished in sight of land.

The West Indians was the first discovered by Christies Columbies.

The west Indaines was discovered in 1692 by Chrissor Columbius.

The Crusaders were the first to settle America.

The American colonies were settled by Dutch navegators who founded them.

The first English settlements were made in the Gulf of Mexico.

Slaves were introduced to this country by Spain and Portugese people.

Kink Louis decleared ware against Kink William who commanded the English Fources. A party of French and Indains came to Sketiney and the Indains tomahorks was frozen. It was a very bobloody war. For Fourty years the war was but it did not last longe. The war ended in 1776 because Kink Phillip discovered the dead. It was called his war because he was the cheaf mouver of it.

Virginia was named from Queen Virgin who was called Elizabeth.

The Indians were the first Americans and they settled over a vast expanse of the county.

Salem witch craft was a son of Massasoit.

The Indian wars were very desecrating to the country.

The Indians pursued their warfare by hiding in bushes and then scalping them.

Captain John Smith has been styled the father of his country. His life was saved by his daughter Pochahantas.

The Puritans found an insane asylum in the wilds of America.

They were called Puritans because they were more quiet than the Episcopalians.

Miles Standish discovered Plymouth and it was named in his honor.

Roger Williams called the settlement Rhode Island in honor of God’s merciful Providence shown to him.

William Penn was born in Boston in 1607. He was the first white man who founded Pennsylvania. He founded Pennsylvania because his name was William Penn.

William Penn discovered Philadelphia and laid out its streets.

The Stamp Act was to make everybody stamp all materials so they should be null and void.

Benedict Arnold was greatly regretted by the Americans as well as by the English.

Benjamin Franklin is the finest Example of a selfmad man that American History affords. He commenced life as a tallow chandelier boy and step by step became a Great Genius.

George Washington was born in 1492.

At White Plains Gen. Washington murdered several hundred men.

Gen. Washington is famous for the Washington Monument.

Washington wrote the Declareation of Independence in 1492.

George Washington inherited consumption in the army.

Washington died in Spain almost brokenhearted. His remains were taken to the cathedral in Havanna.

The Mexican war was the war of Texas with the United States.

Gen. Scott fought bravely at the battle of Wingfield.

When the Wig party was in power there was striks all over the laborers.

Slavery was caused by the admission of Missouri into the Union.

The Missouri Compromise compelled slaves to enter all the different states and territories.

Gorilla warfare was war where men rode on gorillas.

The Border Ruffians were founded to prevent all emigrants into Kansas and they sacrificed considerable lives.

John Brown was a very good insane man who tried to get slaves into Virginia. He captured all the inhabitants, but was finally conquered and condemned to his death.

The confederasy was formed by the fugitive slaves.

                              (English.)

England was named by the Angels.

The Celts were driven out of England into Whales.

Julius Caesar invaded England 400 years B. C. The English condition was in a rude state. They joined in games such as cock fighting.

The Brittains were the Saxons who entered England in 1492 under Julius Caesar.

The Britains came from Brittany. They were a brave and warlike people and lived by fishing and manufactures.

The Britains conquered Julius Caesar and drove him ignominiously from his dominions.

The Britons founded the Druids. They ust to hold religious services out of doors.

The Druids were supposed to be Roman Catholicks.

The Crusaders were fanatics who fought in tournaments.

The Habeas Corpus Act said that a body whether alive or dead could be produced in court.

Alfred the Great reigned 872 years. He was distinguished for letting some buckwheat cakes burn and the lady scolded him.

Rufus was named William on account of his red hair. He established the curfew fire bell.

William the Conqueror was the first of the Mormons.

Edward the black Prince was famous for founding chivalry.

Chivalry is a fight on horseback between two horsemen in an open plain.

A night errant is a man who goes around in the night in search of adventures.

The Middle Ages come in between antiquity and posterity.

The War of the Roses was between the white and the red.
								Rate this book:0.0 / 0 votes