Deserted Page #2

"Deserted" by W. W. Jacobs is a short story that follows the harrowing experience of a man stranded on a deserted island. As he grapples with loneliness and despair, the narrative explores themes of isolation and the human spirit's resilience. Jacobs, known for his wit and keen observations, intertwines elements of humor with the stark reality of survival, ultimately reflecting on the nature of companionship and the search for meaning in desolation. The story combines vivid imagery and engaging characters, making it a poignant tale of human endurance in the face of abandonment.

• Short story

								

over it a bit.”

They sat there while Rupert practised—till he started shying the
assegais, that is—and then they went out and left 'im with Kumbo.
Considering that she 'ad only just buried her 'usband, Rupert found her
quite skittish enough, and he couldn't 'elp wondering wot she'd be like
when she'd got over her grief a bit more.

The manager and George said he 'ad got on wonderfully, and arter talking
it over with Mrs. Alfredi they decided to open that evening, and pore
Rupert found out that the shop was the theatre, and all the acting he'd
got to do was to dance war-dances and sing in Zulu to people wot had
paid a penny a 'ead. He was a bit nervous at fust, for fear anybody
should find out that 'e wasn't a real Zulu, because the manager said
they'd tear 'im to pieces if they did, and eat 'im arterwards, but arter
a time 'is nervousness wore off and he jumped about like a monkey.

They gave performances every arf hour from ha'-past six to ten, and
Rupert felt ready to drop. His feet was sore with dancing and his throat
ached with singing Zulu, but wot upset 'im more than anything was
an elderly old party wot would keep jabbing 'im in the ribs with her
umbrella to see whether he could laugh.

An Elderly Old Party Wot Would Keep Jabbing 'im in The Ribs With Her
Umbrella.

They 'ad supper arter they 'ad closed, and then Mr. Alfredi and 'is wife
went off, and Rupert and George made up beds for themselves in the shop,
while Kumbo 'ad a little place to herself at the back.

He did better than ever next night, and they all said he was improving
fast; and Mr. Alfredi told 'im in a whisper that he thought he was
better at it than Kumbo. “Not that I should mind 'er knowing much,” he
ses, “seeing that she's took such a fancy to you.”

“Ah, I was going to speak to you about that,” ses Rupert. “Forwardness
is no name for it; if she don't keep 'erself to 'erself, I shall chuck
the whole thing up.”

The manager coughed behind his 'and. “And go back to the Army?” he ses.
“Well, I should be sorry to lose you, but I won't stand in your way.”

Mrs. Alfredi, wot was standing by, stuffed her pocket-'ankercher in 'er
mouth, and Rupert began to feel a bit uneasy in his mind.

“If I did,” he ses, “you'd get into trouble for 'elping me to desert.”

“Desert!” ses Mr. Alfredi. “I don't know anything about your deserting.”

“Ho!” ses Rupert. “And wot about my uniform?”

“Uniform?” ses Mr. Alfredi. “Wot uniform? I ain't seen no uniform. Where
is it?”

Rupert didn't answer 'im, but arter they 'ad gone 'ome he told George
that he 'ad 'ad enough of acting and he should go.

“Where to?” ses George.

“I'll find somewhere,” ses Rupert. “I sha'n't starve.”

“You might ketch your death o' cold, though,” ses George.

Rupert said he didn't mind, and then he shut 'is eyes and pretended to
be asleep. His idea was to wait till George was asleep and then pinch
'is clothes; consequently 'is feelings when 'e opened one eye and saw
George getting into bed with 'is clothes on won't bear thinking about.
He laid awake for hours, and three times that night George, who was a
very heavy sleeper, woke up and found Rupert busy tucking him in.

By the end of the week Rupert was getting desperate. He hated being
black for one thing, and the more he washed the better color he looked.
He didn't mind the black for out o' doors, in case the Army was looking
for 'im, but 'aving no clothes he couldn't get out o' doors; and when he
said he wouldn't perform unless he got some, Mr. Alfredi dropped 'ints
about having 'im took up for a deserter.

“I've 'ad my suspicions of it for some days,” he ses, with a wink,
“though you did come to me in a nice serge suit and tell me you was an
actor. Now, you be a good boy for another week and I'll advance you a
couple o' pounds to get some clothes with.”

Rupert asked him to let 'im have it then, but 'e wouldn't, and for
another week he 'ad to pretend 'e was a Zulu of an evening, and try and
persuade Kumbo that he was an English gentleman of a daytime.

He got the money at the end of the week and 'ad to sign a paper to give
a month's notice any time he wanted to leave, but he didn't mind that at
all, being determined the fust time he got outside the place to run away
and ship as a n*gger cook if 'e couldn't get the black off.

He made a list o' things out for George to get for 'im, but there seemed
to be such a lot for two pounds that Mr. Alfredi shook his 'ead over it;
and arter calling 'imself a soft-'arted fool, and saying he'd finish up
in the workhouse, he made it three pounds and told George to look sharp.

“He's a very good marketer,” he ses, arter George 'ad gone; “he don't
mind wot trouble he takes. He'll very likely haggle for hours to get
sixpence knocked off the trousers or twopence off the shirt.”

It was twelve o'clock in the morning when George went, and at ha'-past
four Rupert turned nasty, and said 'e was afraid he was trying to get
them for nothing. At five o'clock he said George was a fool, and at
ha'-past he said 'e was something I won't repeat.

It was just eleven o'clock, and they 'ad shut up for the night, when the
front door opened, and George stood there smiling at 'em and shaking his
'ead.

“Sush a lark,” he ses, catching 'old of Mr. Alfredi's arm to steady
'imself. “I gave 'im shlip.”

“Wot d'ye mean?” ses the manager, shaking him off. “Gave who the slip?
Where's them clothes?”

“Boy's got 'em,” ses George, smiling agin and catching hold of Kumbo's
arm. “Sush a lark; he's been car-carrying 'em all day—all day. Now I've
given 'im the—the shlip, 'stead o'—'stead o' giving 'im fourpence. Take
care o' the pensh, an' pouns—”

He let go o' Kumbo's arm, turned round twice, and then sat down 'eavy
and fell fast asleep. The manager rushed to the door and looked out, but
there was no signs of the boy, and he came back shaking his 'ead, and
said that George 'ad been drinking agin.

“Well, wot about my clothes?” ses Rupert, hardly able to speak.

“P'r'aps he didn't buy 'em arter all,” ses the manager. “Let's try 'is
pockets.”

He tried fust, and found some strawberries that George 'ad spoilt by
sitting on. Then he told Rupert to have a try, and Rupert found some
bits of string, a few buttons, two penny stamps, and twopence ha'penny
in coppers.

“Never mind,” ses Mr. Alfredi; “I'll go round to the police-station in
the morning; p'r'aps the boy 'as taken them there. I'm disapp'inted in
George. I shall tell 'im so, too.”

He bid Rupert good-night and went off with Mrs. Alfredi; and Rupert,
wishful to make the best o' things, decided that he would undress George
and go off in 'is clothes. He waited till Kumbo 'ad gone off to bed, and
then he started to take George's coat off. He got the two top buttons
undone all right, and then George turned over in 'is sleep. It surprised
Rupert, but wot surprised 'im more when he rolled George over was to

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