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"Admiral Peters" by W. W. Jacobs is a humorous nautical tale that follows the misadventures of the titular character, Admiral Peters, who navigates the challenges of naval life with wit and a dose of absurdity. The story captures the quirks and eccentricities of maritime culture, showcasing Jacobs's signature blend of comedy and keen observation of human nature. Through engaging characters and amusing situations, the narrative explores themes of camaraderie, adventure, and the unpredictability of life at sea.


Year:
1909
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Submitted by davidb on February 06, 2025


								
who had risen fresh as a daisy and been out to inhale the air on the cliffs, was somewhat offended. "You go down and see her," he said, anxiously. "Don't lose a moment; and explain to her that it was the sea-air acting on an old sunstroke." "She ain't a fool," said Mr. Burton, gloomily. He finished his breakfast in silence, and, leaving the repentant Mr. Stiles sitting in the doorway with a pipe, went down to the widow's to make the best explanation he could think of on the way. Mrs. Dutton's fresh-coloured face changed as he entered the shop, and her still good eyes regarded him with scornful interrogation. "I--saw you last night," began Mr. Burton, timidly. "I saw you, too," said Mrs. Dutton. "I couldn't believe my eyesight at first." "It was an old shipmate of mine," said Mr. Burton. "He hadn't seen me for years, and I suppose the sight of me upset 'im." "I dare say," replied the widow; "that and the Cock and Flowerpot, too. I heard about it." "He would go," said the unfortunate. "You needn't have gone," was the reply. "I 'ad to," said Mr. Burton, with a gulp; "he--he's an old officer o' mine, and it wouldn't ha' been discipline for me to refuse." "Officer?" repeated Mrs. Dutton. "My old admiral," said Mr. Burton, with a gulp that nearly choked him. "You've heard me speak of Admiral Peters?" "Admiral?" gasped the astonished widow. "What, a-carrying on like that?" "He's a reg'lar old sea-dog," said Mr. Burton. "He's staying with me, but of course 'e don't want it known who he is. I couldn't refuse to 'ave a drink with 'im. I was under orders, so to speak." "No, I suppose not," said Mrs. Dutton, softening. "Fancy him staying with you!" "He just run down for the night, but I expect he'll be going 'ome in an hour or two," said Mr. Burton, who saw an excellent reason now for hastening his guest's departure. Mrs. Dutton's face fell. "Dear me," she murmured, "I should have liked to have seen him; you have told me so much about him. If he doesn't go quite so soon, and you would like to bring him here when you come to-night, I'm sure I should be very pleased." "I'll mention it to 'im," said Mr. Burton, marvelling at the change in her manner. "Didn't you say once that he was uncle to Lord Buckfast?" inquired Mrs. Dutton, casually. "Yes," said Mr. Burton, with unnecessary doggedness; "I did." "The idea of an admiral staying with you!" said Mrs. Dutton. "Reg'lar old sea-dog," said Mr. Burton again; "and, besides, he don't want it known. It's a secret between us three, Mrs. Dutton." "To be sure," said the widow. "You can tell the admiral that I shall not mention it to a soul," she added, mincingly. Mr. Burton thanked her and withdrew, lest Mr. Stiles should follow him up before apprised of his sudden promotion. He found that gentleman, however, still sitting at the front door, smoking serenely. "I'll stay with you for a week or two," said Mr. Stiles, briskly, as soon as the other had told his story. "It'll do you a world o' good to be seen on friendly terms with an admiral, and I'll put in a good word for you." Mr. Burton shook his head. "No, she might find out," he said, slowly. "I think that the best thing is for you to go home after dinner, Joe, and just give 'er a look in on the way, p'r'aps. You could say a lot o' things about me in 'arf an hour." "No, George," said Mr. Stiles, beaming on him kindly; "when I put my hand to the plough I don't draw back. It's a good speaking part, too, an admiral's. I wonder whether I might use old Peters's language." "Certainly not," said Mr. Burton, in alarm. "You don't know how particular she is." Mr. Stiles sighed, and said that he would do the best he could without it. He spent most of the day on the beach smoking, and when evening came shaved himself with extreme care and brushed his serge suit with great perseverance in preparation for his visit. Mr. Burton performed the ceremony of introduction with some awkwardness; Mr. Stiles was affecting a stateliness of manner which was not without distinction; and Mrs. Dutton, in a black silk dress and the cameo brooch which had belonged to her mother, was no less important. Mr. Burton had an odd feeling of inferiority. "It's a very small place to ask you to, Admiral Peters," said the widow, offering him a chair. "It's comfortable, ma'am," said Mr. Stiles, looking round approvingly. "Ah, you should see some of the palaces I've been in abroad; all show and no comfort. Not a decent chair in the place. And, as for the antimacassars----" "Are you making a long stay, Admiral Peters?" inquired the delighted widow. "It depends," was the reply. "My intention was just to pay a flying visit to my honest old friend Burton here--best man in my squadron--but he is so hospitable, he's been pressing me to stay for a few weeks." "But the admiral says he must get back to-morrow morning," interposed Mr. Burton, firmly. "Unless I have a letter at breakfast-time, Burton," said Mr. Stiles, serenely. Mr. Burton favoured him with a mutinous scowl. "Oh, I do hope you will," said Mrs. Dutton. "I have a feeling that I shall," said Mr. Stiles, crossing glances with his friend. "The only thing is my people; they want me to join them at Lord Tufton's place." Mrs. Dutton trembled with delight at being in the company of a man with such friends. "What a change shore-life must be to you after the perils of the sea!" she murmured. "Ah!" said Mr. Stiles. "True! True!" "The dreadful fighting," said Mrs. Dutton, closing her eyes and shuddering. "You get used to it," said the hero, simply. "Hottest time I had I think was at the bombardment of Alexandria. I stood alone. All the men who hadn't been shot down had fled, and the shells were bursting round me like--like fireworks." The widow clasped her hands and shuddered again. "I was standing just behind 'im, waiting any orders he might give," said Mr. Burton. "Were you?" said Mr. Stiles, sharply--"were you? I don't remember it, Burton." "Why," said Mr. Burton, with a faint laugh, "I was just behind you, sir. If you remember, sir, I said to you that it was pretty hot work." Mr. Stiles affected to consider. "No, Burton," he said, bluffly--"no; so far as my memory goes I was the only man there."
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W. W. Jacobs

William Wymark Jacobs, known as W. W. Jacobs, was an English author of short stories and novels. Although much of his work was humorous, he is most famous for his horror story "The Monkey's Paw". more…

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