A Ward of Colonel Starbottle's Page #5

"A Ward of Colonel Starbottle's" is a short story by Bret Harte that revolves around themes of love, social class, and the complexities of human relationships in the American West. The narrative follows Colonel Starbottle, a colorful and charismatic character, as he navigates the challenges of caring for his ward, a young woman named Miss Isabel from a respectable family. The story explores the interactions between the Colonel, his ward, and other characters in their small community, blending humor and poignant moments to highlight the contrasts between societal expectations and individual desires. Through engaging storytelling, Harte captures the spirit of frontier life while delving into the intricacies of personal connections.

• Short story

								

appearance to any of his old associates who might see him--drinking
luke-warm tea and pecking feebly at his bread and butter at a small
table, beside his little tyrant.

And this domination of the helpless continued on their way home.
Although Miss Pansy no longer talked of herself, she was equally
voluble in inquiry as to the colonel's habits, ways of life, friends
and acquaintances, happily restricting her interrogations, in regard to
those of her own sex, to "any LITTLE girls that he knew." Saved by this
exonerating adjective, the colonel saw here a chance to indulge
his postponed monitorial duty, as well as his vivid imagination. He
accordingly drew elaborate pictures of impossible children he had
known--creatures precise in language and dress, abstinent of play and
confectionery, devoted to lessons and duties, and otherwise, in Pansy's
own words, "loathsome to the last degree!" As "daughters of oldest
and most cherished friends," they might perhaps have excited Pansy's
childish jealousy but for the singular fact that they had all long ago
been rewarded by marriage with senators, judges, and generals--also
associates of the colonel. This remoteness of presence somewhat marred
their effect as an example, and the colonel was mortified, though not
entirely displeased, to observe that their surprising virtues did not
destroy Pansy's voracity for sweets, the recklessness of her skipping,
nor the freedom of her language. The colonel was remorseful--but happy.

When they reached the seminary again, Pansy retired with her various
purchases, but reappeared after an interval with Miss Tish.

"I remember," hesitated that lady, trembling under the fascination of
the colonel's profound bow, "that you were anxious to look over the
school, and although it was not possible then, I shall be glad to show
you now through one of the classrooms."

The colonel, glancing at Pansy, was momentarily shocked by a distortion
of one side of her face, which seemed, however, to end in a wink of her
innocent brown eyes, but recovering himself, gallantly expressed his
gratitude. The next moment he was ascending the stairs, side by side
with Miss Tish, and had a distinct impression that he had been pinched
in the calf by Pansy, who was following close behind.

It was recess, but the large classroom was quite filled with pupils,
many of them older and prettier girls, inveigled there, as it afterwards
appeared, by Pansy, in some precocious presentiment of her guardian's
taste. The colonel's apologetic yet gallant bow on entering, and his
erect, old-fashioned elegance, instantly took their delighted attention.
Indeed, all would have gone well had not Miss Prinkwell, with the view
of impressing the colonel as well as her pupils, majestically introduced
him as "a distinguished jurist deeply interested in the cause of
education, as well as guardian of their fellow pupil." That opportunity
was not thrown away on Colonel Starbottle.

Stepping up to the desk of the astounded principal, he laid the points
of his fingers delicately upon it, and, with a preparatory inclination
of his head towards her, placed his other hand in his breast, and with
an invocatory glance at the ceiling, began.

It was the colonel's habit at such moments to state at first, with great
care and precision, the things that he "would not say," that he "NEED
not say," and apparently that it was absolutely unnecessary even to
allude to. It was therefore, not strange that the colonel informed them
that he need not say that he counted his present privilege among
the highest that had been granted him; for besides the privilege of
beholding the galaxy of youthful talent and excellence before him,
besides the privilege of being surrounded by a garland of the blossoms
of the school in all their freshness and beauty, it was well understood
that he had the greater privilege of--er--standing in loco parentis to
one of these blossoms. It was not for him to allude to the high trust
imposed upon him by--er--deceased and cherished friend, and daughter of
one of the first families of Virginia, by the side of one who must feel
that she was the recipient of trusts equally supreme (here the colonel
paused, and statuesquely regarded the alarmed Miss Prinkwell as if he
were in doubt of it), but he would say that it should be HIS devoted
mission to champion the rights of the orphaned and innocent whenever and
wherever the occasion arose, against all odds, and even in the face of
misguided authority. (Having left the impression that Miss Prinkwell
contemplated an invasion of those rights, the colonel became more
lenient and genial.) He fully recognized her high and noble office; he
saw in her the worthy successor of those two famous instructresses of
Athens--those Greek ladies--er--whose names had escaped his memory,
but which--er--no doubt Miss Prinkwell would be glad to recall to her
pupils, with some account of their lives. (Miss Prinkwell colored; she
had never heard of them before, and even the delight of the class in the
colonel's triumph was a little dampened by this prospect of hearing more
about them.) But the colonel was only too content with seeing before him
these bright and beautiful faces, destined, as he firmly believed, in
after years to lend their charm and effulgence to the highest
places as the happy helpmeets of the greatest in the land. He
was--er--leaving a--er--slight testimonial of his regard in the form
of some--er--innocent refreshments in the hands of his ward, who
would--er--act as--er--his proxy in their distribution; and the
colonel sat down to the flutter of handkerchiefs, an applause only half
restrained, and the utter demoralization of Miss Prinkwell.

But the time of his departure had come by this time, and he was too
experienced a public man to risk the possibility of an anticlimax by
protracting his leave-taking. And in an ominous shining of Pansy's big
eyes as the time approached he felt an embarrassment as perplexing as
the odd presentiment of loneliness that was creeping over him. But
with an elaborate caution as to the dangers of self-indulgence, and the
private bestowal of a large gold piece slipped into her hand, a promise
to come again soon, and an exaction that she would write to him often,
the colonel received in return a wet kiss, a great deal of wet cheek
pressed against his own, and a momentary tender clinging, like that
which attends the pulling up of some small flower, as he passed out
into the porch. In the hall, on the landing above him, there was a close
packing of brief skirts against the railing, and a voice, apparently
proceeding from a pair of very small mottled legs protruding through the
balusters, said distinctly, "Free cheers for Ternel Tarbottle!" And to
this benediction the colonel, hat in hand, passed out of this Eden into
the world again.

The colonel's next visit to the seminary did not produce the same

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