A Poor Man’s Tale of a Patent Page #2

"A Poor Man’s Tale of a Patent" is a novella by Charles Dickens that explores themes of innovation, social justice, and the struggles of the working class. The story follows the journey of a poor inventor who finds himself entangled in the complexities of the patent system. Through his experiences, Dickens critiques the societal indifference toward the plight of the impoverished and highlights the challenges faced by those who seek recognition and financial stability through their inventions. The tale combines Dickens' characteristic wit and social commentary, making it a poignant reflection on the disparities in the pursuit of success.

• Short story

								

office out), and where I paid two pound, two, and sixpence.  In six days
he signed it, and I was told to take it to the Attorney-General’s
chambers, and leave it there for a report.  I did so, and paid four
pound, four.  Note.  Nobody all through, ever thankful for their money,
but all uncivil.

My lodging at Thomas Joy’s was now hired for another week, whereof five
days were gone.  The Attorney-General made what they called a
Report-of-course (my invention being, as William Butcher had delivered
before starting, unopposed), and I was sent back with it to the Home
Office.  They made a Copy of it, which was called a Warrant.  For this
warrant, I paid seven pound, thirteen, and six.  It was sent to the
Queen, to sign.  The Queen sent it back, signed.  The Home Secretary
signed it again.  The gentleman throwed it at me when I called, and said,
‘Now take it to the Patent Office in Lincoln’s Inn.’  I was then in my
third week at Thomas Joy’s living very sparing, on account of fees.  I
found myself losing heart.

At the Patent Office in Lincoln’s Inn, they made ‘a draft of the Queen’s
bill,’ of my invention, and a ‘docket of the bill.’  I paid five pound,
ten, and six, for this.  They ‘engrossed two copies of the bill; one for
the Signet Office, and one for the Privy-Seal Office.’  I paid one pound,
seven, and six, for this.  Stamp duty over and above, three pound.  The
Engrossing Clerk of the same office engrossed the Queen’s bill for
signature.  I paid him one pound, one.  Stamp-duty, again, one pound,
ten.  I was next to take the Queen’s bill to the Attorney-General again,
and get it signed again.  I took it, and paid five pound more.  I fetched
it away, and took it to the Home Secretary again.  He sent it to the
Queen again.  She signed it again.  I paid seven pound, thirteen, and
six, more, for this.  I had been over a month at Thomas Joy’s.  I was
quite wore out, patience and pocket.

Thomas Joy delivered all this, as it went on, to William Butcher.
William Butcher delivered it again to three Birmingham Parlours, from
which it got to all the other Parlours, and was took, as I have been told
since, right through all the shops in the North of England.  Note.
William Butcher delivered, at his Parlour, in a speech, that it was a
Patent way of making Chartists.

But I hadn’t nigh done yet.  The Queen’s bill was to be took to the
Signet Office in Somerset House, Strand—where the stamp shop is.  The
Clerk of the Signet made ‘a Signet bill for the Lord Keeper of the Privy
Seal.’  I paid him four pound, seven.  The Clerk of the Lord Keeper of
the Privy Seal made ‘a Privy-Seal bill for the Lord Chancellor.’  I paid
him, four pound, two.  The Privy-Seal bill was handed over to the Clerk
of the Patents, who engrossed the aforesaid.  I paid him five pound,
seventeen, and eight; at the same time, I paid Stamp-duty for the Patent,
in one lump, thirty pound.  I next paid for ‘boxes for the Patent,’ nine
and sixpence.  Note.  Thomas Joy would have made the same at a profit for
eighteen-pence.  I next paid ‘fees to the Deputy, the Lord Chancellor’s
Purse-bearer,’ two pound, two.  I next paid ‘fees to the Clerk of the
Hanapar,’ seven pound, thirteen.  I next paid ‘fees to the Deputy Clerk
of the Hanaper,’ ten shillings.  I next paid, to the Lord Chancellor
again, one pound, eleven, and six.  Last of all, I paid ‘fees to the
Deputy Sealer, and Deputy Chaff-wax,’ ten shillings and sixpence.  I had
lodged at Thomas Joy’s over six weeks, and the unopposed Patent for my
invention, for England only, had cost me ninety-six pound, seven, and
eightpence.  If I had taken it out for the United Kingdom, it would have
cost me more than three hundred pound.

Now, teaching had not come up but very limited when I was young.  So much
the worse for me you’ll say.  I say the same.  William Butcher is twenty
year younger than me.  He knows a hundred year more.  If William Butcher
had wanted to Patent an invention, he might have been sharper than myself
when hustled backwards and forwards among all those offices, though I
doubt if so patient.  Note.  William being sometimes cranky, and consider
porters, messengers, and clerks.

Thereby I say nothing of my being tired of my life, while I was Patenting
my invention.  But I put this: Is it reasonable to make a man feel as if,
in inventing an ingenious improvement meant to do good, he had done
something wrong?  How else can a man feel, when he is met by such
difficulties at every turn?  All inventors taking out a Patent MUST feel
so.  And look at the expense.  How hard on me, and how hard on the
country if there’s any merit in me (and my invention is took up now, I am
thankful to say, and doing well), to put me to all that expense before I
can move a finger!  Make the addition yourself, and it’ll come to
ninety-six pound, seven, and eightpence.  No more, and no less.

What can I say against William Butcher, about places?  Look at the Home
Secretary, the Attorney-General, the Patent Office, the Engrossing Clerk,
the Lord Chancellor, the Privy Seal, the Clerk of the Patents, the Lord
Chancellor’s Purse-bearer, the Clerk of the Hanaper, the Deputy Clerk of
the Hanaper, the Deputy Sealer, and the Deputy Chaff-wax.  No man in
England could get a Patent for an Indian-rubber band, or an iron-hoop,
without feeing all of them.  Some of them, over and over again.  I went
through thirty-five stages.  I began with the Queen upon the Throne.  I
ended with the Deputy Chaff-wax.  Note.  I should like to see the Deputy
Chaff-wax.  Is it a man, or what is it?

What I had to tell, I have told.  I have wrote it down.  I hope it’s
plain.  Not so much in the handwriting (though nothing to boast of
there), as in the sense of it.  I will now conclude with Thomas Joy.
Thomas said to me, when we parted, ‘John, if the laws of this country
were as honest as they ought to be, you would have come to
London—registered an exact description and drawing of your invention—paid
half-a-crown or so for doing of it—and therein and thereby have got your
Patent.’

My opinion is the same as Thomas Joy.  Further.  In William Butcher’s
delivering ‘that the whole gang of Hanapers and Chaff-waxes must be done
away with, and that England has been chaffed and waxed sufficient,’ I
agree.
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