A Bread and Butter Miss Page #2

"A Bread and Butter Miss" is a short story by Hector Hugh Munro, known by his pen name Saki. Set in the Edwardian era, the narrative centers around the character of Miss Wigram, a pragmatic and somewhat unremarkable young woman whose unassuming nature conceals a sharp wit and a clever perspective on social norms. The story explores themes of class, marriage, and societal expectations, as Miss Wigram navigates the often superficial world of flirtation and courtship. With Saki's trademark humor and keen observation, the tale examines the intricacies of human relationships and the irony of seeking true connection in a society driven by status and appearances.

• Short story

								


"A glass of Benedictine, with a drop of eau-de-Cologne--" said Sir
Lulworth.

"I have tried every known remedy," said Lola, with dignity; "I've been a
martyr to insomnia for years."

"But now we are being martyrs to it," said Odo sulkily; "I particularly
want to land a big coup over this race."

"I don't have insomnia for my own amusement," snapped Lola.

"Let us hope for the best," said Mrs. de Claux soothingly; "to-night may
prove an exception to the fifth-night rule."

But when breakfast time came round again Lola reported a blank night as
far as visions were concerned.

"I don't suppose I had as much as ten minutes' sleep, and, certainly, no
dreams."

"I'm so sorry, for your sake in the first place, and ours as well," said
her hostess; "do you think you could induce a short nap after breakfast?
It would be so good for you--and you might dream something.  There
would still be time for us to get our bets on."

"I'll try if you like," said Lola; "it sounds rather like a small child
being sent to bed in disgrace."

"I'll come and read the Encyclopaedia Britannica to you if you think it
will make you sleep any sooner," said Bertie obligingly.

Rain was falling too steadily to permit of outdoor amusement, and the
party suffered considerably during the next two hours from the absolute
quiet that was enforced all over the house in order to give Lola every
chance of achieving slumber.  Even the click of billiard balls was
considered a possible factor of disturbance, and the canaries were
carried down to the gardener's lodge, while the cuckoo clock in the hall
was muffled under several layers of rugs.  A notice, "Please do not Knock
or Ring," was posted on the front door at Bertie's suggestion, and guests
and servants spoke in tragic whispers as though the dread presence of
death or sickness had invaded the house.  The precautions proved of no
avail: Lola added a sleepless morning to a wakeful night, and the bets of
the party had to be impartially divided between Nursery Tea and the
French Colt.

"So provoking to have to split out bets," said Mrs. de Claux, as her
guests gathered in the hall later in the day, waiting for the result of
the race.

"I did my best for you," said Lola, feeling that she was not getting her
due share of gratitude; "I told you what I had seen in my dreams, a brown
horse, called Bread and Butter, winning easily from all the rest."

"What?" screamed Bertie, jumping up from his sea, "a brown horse!
Miserable woman, you never said a word about it's being a brown horse."

"Didn't I?" faltered Lola; "I thought I told you it was a brown horse.  It
was certainly brown in both dreams.  But I don't see what the colour has
got to do with it.  Nursery Tea and Le Five O'Clock are both chestnuts."

"Merciful Heaven!  Doesn't brown bread and butter with a sprinkling of
lemon in the colours suggest anything to you?" raged Bertie.

A slow, cumulative groan broke from the assembly as the meaning of his
words gradually dawned on his hearers.

For the second time that day Lola retired to the seclusion of her room;
she could not face the universal looks of reproach directed at her when
Whitebait was announced winner at the comfortable price of fourteen to
one.
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