Alice, or the Mysteries — Book 05

								

sidelong looks;" not "of love," were fixed upon his companion,--"I need
scarcely refer to the wish of the late lord, your uncle, relative to Miss
Cameron and yourself; nor need I, to one of a generous spirit, add that
an engagement could be only so far binding as both the parties whose
happiness is concerned should be willing in proper time and season to
fulfil it."
"Sir!" said Vargrave, impatiently waving his hand; and, in his irritable
surmise of what was to come, losing his habitual self-control, "I know
not what all this has to do with you; surely you trespass upon ground
sacred to Miss Cameron and myself?  Whatever you have to say, let me beg
you to come at once to the point."
"My lord, I will obey you.  Miss Cameron--and, I may add, with Lady
Vargrave's consent--deputes me to say that, although she feels compelled
to decline the honour of your lordship's alliance, yet if in any
arrangement of the fortune bequeathed to her she could testify to you, my
lord, her respect and friendship, it would afford her the most sincere
gratification."
Lord Vargrave started.
"Sir," said he, "I know not if I am to thank you for this information,
the announcement of which so strangely coincides with your arrival.  But
allow me to say that there needs no ambassador between Miss Cameron and
myself.  It is due, sir, to my station, to my relationship, to my
character of guardian, to my long and faithful affection, to all
considerations which men of the world understand, which men of feeling
sympathize with, to receive from Miss Cameron alone the rejection of my
suit."
"Unquestionably Miss Cameron will grant your lordship the interview you
have a right to seek; but pardon me, I thought it might save you both
much pain, if the meeting were prepared by a third person; and on any
matter of business, any atonement to your lordship--"
"Atonement! what can atone to me?" exclaimed Vargrave, as he walked to
and fro the room in great disorder and excitement.  "Can you give me back
years of hope and expectancy,--the manhood wasted in a vain dream?  Had I
not been taught to look to this reward, should I have rejected all
occasion--while my youth was not yet all gone, while my heart was not yet
all occupied--to form a suitable alliance?  Nay, should I have indulged
in a high and stirring career, for which my own fortune is by no means
qualified?  Atonement! atonement!  Talk of atonement to boys!  Sir, I
stand before you a man whose private happiness is blighted, whose public
prospects are darkened, life wasted, fortunes ruined, the schemes of an
existence built upon one hope, which was lawfully indulged, overthrown;
and you talk to me of atonement!"
Selfish as the nature of this complaint might be, Aubrey was struck with
its justice.
"My lord," said he, a little embarrassed, "I cannot deny that there is
truth in much of what you say.  Alas! it proves how vain it is for man to
calculate on the future; how unhappily your uncle erred in imposing